I have never been a huge fan of Total Film. Not for their features or articles, but for the simple fact their covers aren't as appealing as that of EMPIRE Magazine. They often are cluttered affairs, which resort to cheap tactics to draw readers and feature some shoddy design work, which are all demonstrated beautifully by the 'Man of Steel' cover from earlier this year. What first strikes me in this cover is the image and the title of the film, as they should do, but in this case neither make me want to the see the film any more than I had done before. In fact they lower my expectations somewhat due to their poor presentation on the cover of this magazine. Firstly they have chosen a mediocre photo - while Superman is stood in a pose that is expected of such a character, there is something off about the photo that does not seem worthy of a big film such as this one. Lois Lane, for instance is stood awkwardly in front of Superman while her pose, with her arms hanging like planks from her torso, is even more so. Both characters' faces, looking away, suggest that they are facing a potential threat or danger, or even just so they could look cool, while the titular Man of Steel's is stood determined with his fist clenched and cape swept back. Some may think they look heroic. I think they look annoying. But I guess that's just me, so I won't go into any more depth with this particular issue.
The font chosen for the film is just a mess. Cheesy, bold lettering with light flares along it and gradient effect that could be achieved by a Year 7 in an IT class with a couple of minutes to spare simply looks cheesy and is reminiscent of the rather tacky cover for the standard edition of Lady Gaga's 2011 album 'Born This Way'. Both above and below the title they have chosen even more annoying taglines to support it. The words 'It's time for a change', seemingly and attempt at 'oh, lol :)' humour (if you don't get it, it is a reference to the character's new actor as well as radically changed suit) which just annoys me, as does the 'New Suit, New Superman, New Superhero Franchise', a use of repetition and the rule of three - but which just seems like overkill to me.
The cover promises 'Complete & Exclusive Access' giving potential buyers a reason to choose this magazine over others (well other...there are really only two major film-based publications in the UK), while the publishers clearly saw the draw of 'Man of Steel' wasn't sufficient so promote this edition as 'The Heroes and Villains Issue' - with apparently one hundred of said characters featured inside the pages of the magazine, a selection of images of them displayed in their own special, little boxes at the top of the cover. In the bottom left is advertised 'An On-Set X-clusive' (clever!) - 'The Wolverine' which is followed by what I can only think of as the most moronic tagline ever in the history of film publications, 'Fight, Fight, Fight!'...I guess it gets the point across. On the opposite side of the cover is littered a number of other little hints at what's inside, for instance 'Ryan Gosling: Bad Boy', 'Bradley Cooper: Good Guy'...we're getting there, so far so good...here we go, 'Kevin Bacon: Grilled'.
I'll admit I smiled. In excruciating embarrassment for the human race.
NOTE: I am not usually this nit-picky. Except it is very late, I am very tired, and I wanted something I could rip into like a rabid dog with a chew toy. I apologise.